Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
