Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Can Purell be used as lube?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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