OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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