Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I cannot find my penis.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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