Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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