Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
