There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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