I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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