out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
