and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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