TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
