i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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