In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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