Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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