I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize