So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
