Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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