I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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