So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
