Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
