dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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