Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
