What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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