Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
