My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize