Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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