just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
