i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no you cant smoke seaweed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
