he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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