they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
