What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
