You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize