Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize