Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
