What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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