I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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