In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
