East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
