if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
