Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
