Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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