Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
