this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
