You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My bed smells like the plague
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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