so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
