Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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