its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
