There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
