sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
