I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
