He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
