Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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