Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
