Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's Friday. Sex?
it's like iHOP with fire
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
