and you said cock pushups were impossible
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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