Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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