so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Actions speak louder than pants.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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