whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
