Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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