none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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