be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
