Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
