I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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